Friday, April 17, 2009

Boomerang Effect

There is this strange occurrence that always seems to happen to me. No matter how hard I try to make sure that it doesn't, it just does. Maybe some of you out there can make me feel better by sharing that this incident has happened to you as well. Let me explain.

I try very hard to always do the right thing. You know, to follow the rules, respect others, use the golden rule, be compassionate and considerate of others' feelings and generally do the right thing. I try my darnedest to do this and for some unknown reason, it seems to quite often come back to bite me in the butt. I can't quite figure out how trying so hard to do whats right and be considerate always ends up blowing up in my face. Really... how is it that this happens.

I'm starting to think that I try too hard. Maybe if I were a more blunt and rude person who was just straight forward to the point of inconsiderate that this "boomerang effect" wouldn't happen to me. I don't know. I guess its just a fact of life. It is who I am and the people out there that really know me will understand because they know that in my heart I was thinking of them and their feelings and trying to do what was right. And those that don't, I'm sorry. The fact of the matter is that there will always be people out there that are the "Pot stirrers". They like to get things started and cause problems for people. I choose not to fall into their trap, or play their game and I just hope and pray that those that I call friends can see this and make this choice as well.

An interesting thing though, there is actually a definition for "boomerang effect" and it's funny how well it actually connects to my situations.
See what Wikipedia said:

In social psychology, the boomerang effect is "the theory of psychological reactance (that people act to protect their sense of freedom) is supported by experiments showing that attempts to restrict a person's freedom often produce an anticonformity "boomerang effect" (Brehm, S., & Brehm, J.W. (1981). In social marketing, the boomerang effect occurs as a result of attempted attitude change. If someone makes a strong attempt to change a prospect's attitude toward a subject, the prospect will counter with an equally strong response, even if prior to the confrontation, the prospect held a weak attitude toward the subject.


  1. Just do what feels right to you Mindy. Your the one that has to deal with yourself and live with the choices that you make. I myself have made a lot of bad choices in my younger years. But then you grow up and realize that crap doesn't matter anymore. As long as your a good person (which we all know that you are!!) and you can live with yourself and the the choices that you make then that's all that matters. The rest is just a learning experience of how not to be and you can gain the wisdom from watching from the outside of how not to be!!

  2. Mindy, I so wish that I could make things easier for you! I can't do that, but I can tell you that I admire you (even though you are my younger cousin!) You are definitely one of the strongest women that I know and seeing how you deal with life is really inspirational. (I know that sounds kind of hokey, but what can I say?) If there is one small crack in your armor, though, I think it's that you worry too much about others. You need to do what's right for Mindy, and say what Mindy needs to say. The people that love you will know how to take you. The rest really don't matter! (I know, it's easier said than done, but maybe if you hear it enough times you won't feel bad when you slip and tell someone the truth in a non-sugar coated way? ;o) Love ya, Hun!